One Sentence / Six Words

August 27, 2007 at 11:18 pm (Uncategorized)

One of my favorite parts of the intrawebs is the amount of well written stuff out there, if you’re willing to wade through the crap to get at it. Sites like One Sentence (tell a story in one sentence) and Wired’s Six Words effort (six words only) have a bunch of really cool lines out there. Yeah, you have 300 different variations of the “I loved her, she hated me” stories, but some shine out.

Perhaps my favorite comes from Wired, quoting a Hemingway 6-word story:

“For sale: baby shoes, never worn.”

In that vein, here are some of my less brilliant efforts.

  • Loved her. Lost her. Oh well.
  • Tis better to have read Tennyson.
  • Heaven’s kingdom had no happy people.
  • Spelunking had sounded better in theory.
  • In the end, he chose the dog. (V2.0 – Chose the dog; never looked back).
  • Won battle. Despite cliche, won war.

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Whiny post warning

August 27, 2007 at 10:42 pm (Uncategorized)

The combination of vast quantities of liquor and myself do not always make a bad combination – there are times when I am funny, charming, and even interesting when under copious (or even minimal) quantities of booze – especially when compared to my sober self. Today was not necessarily one of those days – made an ass out of myself in front of someone I really didn’t want to. My senses led to an apology, but my capacity for self-destruction remains significant. The only good that came out of it is that I spent 35 minutes attacking the treadmill as if it had stolen my last piece of candy.

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That funny feeling

August 27, 2007 at 11:40 am (Uncategorized)

  • The great workout regime is still going – at 5 days, I may have reached a new personal best for sticking to an idea (just like this!). Lou Gerhig had nothing on me. Unfortunately, there was a croissant in the vicinity last night, and I may have “given back” my supposed good work.
  • I voluntarily watched Sweet Home Alabama last night (again). I think/know that I enjoy romantic comedies. I ought to turn in my quasi man-card before this goes any further.
  • Monday mornings seem to have a depressing way of assuring you that yes, you are in the real world, and no, you can’t wish away the aspects you don’t like. Right now, I’d prefer to be sipping a beer or two, while discussion new ways to hurl abuse at Brian Sabean (the Giants GM).

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August 24, 2007 at 7:36 pm (Uncategorized)

Some kid, coming out of a parking spot, just decided to side-end me. The left side of my car crumpled like a pinata. Good times. A nice evening spent in the company of friends and copious amounts of beer helped, but rather than being angry, I’m just annoyed that my new car is not so new anymore.

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What I’m reading

August 23, 2007 at 11:24 pm (Uncategorized)

England, England – Julian Barnes.

England isn’t what it used to be – quaint, romantic notions have given way to a place that’s undoubtedly a “has-been”, and almost certainly a “never-will” for the future, one dominated by Asia and the far east. What can you give them? Why, England of course – as they imagine it.

“Imagine being able to visit England–all of England–in a single weekend. Big Ben, the Houses of Parliament, Stonehenge and Hadrian’s Wall, Harrods, Manchester United Football Club, the Tower of London, and even the Royal Family all within easy distance of the each other, accessible, and, best of all, each one living up to an idealized version of itself”(

– Something not quite a theme park or a museum, but a perfect replica (and thus reality) of what England is imagined to be. As always, Barnes is hilarious, but its the idea of what reality it is that makes the book particularly impressive.


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5 Songs

August 23, 2007 at 12:49 pm (Uncategorized)

1. Hallelujah – Jeff Buckley

2. Lily, Rosemary, and the Jack of Hearts – Bob Dylan

3. Suzanne – Leonard Cohen

4. Across the Sea – Weezer

5.  Thirteen – Big Star

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August 23, 2007 at 9:19 am (Uncategorized)

“She sells sea shells by the sea shore, but the sea shells that she sells are sea shells no more.”

The logic of this tonguetwister always bugs me.  Firstly, why is she selling sea shells by the sea shore? Wouldn’t demand be significantly higher in say, the mountains? Are there any shortages of sea shells by this particular shore?

Getting past the economics, its unclear to me whether the woman is an alchemist or our narrator is attempting some pithy point. If they were sea shells when she sold them by the sea shore, how can the sea shells that she sells no longer be sea shells? Is their a metaphysical element to this?

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Good Intentions

August 23, 2007 at 8:53 am (Uncategorized)

Every now and then, I have a burst (okay, more of a tepid glimmer) of inspiration: “Its time to make changes,” (plenty of exclamation marks). At this point, smug in the satisfaction of recognizing the problem, I generally revert back to whatever I was doing in the first place. So it is with the concept of exercise and diet – finding myself “horizontally magnified”, I tend to ignore the realities and focus on Gwenyth Paltrow’s newfound desire for chubbies. Today, hopefully, is different. For the first time in a while, I don’t think I’m motivated by the finish line, as much as the process byitself. I hate, hate, hate, it when I hear people blaming the world for all their problems (“I’m a conniving bastard because mommy and daddy didn’t love me”), and its about time I held myself to the same standard.

On a different level, its amazing how one problem can serve as a cover for another; one insecurity serving as an excuse for another. If this sticks, am I going to lose one of my cherished excuses for not acting on another front?

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August 22, 2007 at 10:05 pm (Uncategorized)

Calvin: “I’m a misunderstood genius.”

Hobbes: “Why are you misunderstood?”

Calvin: “No one understands that I’m a genius.”

I’m a 20-something guy, trying to figure out what the hell is going on in life, the universe, and everything. I start this because like every other would-be blogger out there, I’m convinced there are legions of people dying to hear what I have to say on whatever catches my eye – from the state of the SF Giants (not good), populism-inspired economic illiteracy (even worse), and even my disdain for all things mushroom-related (absolutely disgusting).

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